THE NORMALCY OF FEAR

218 Comments

We all feel it. We all experience it under moments of great duress and confrontation. Military. Law enforcement. Experienced martial artists. Security. Bar fighters. Prize fighters. To a man..or woman. It is inherent and those who will tell you they do not nor never have are one of two things: with mental/social disorder or lying. While some have ways of containing or managing it, we ALL feel it. And know what? It’s normal. Stop feeling incomplete or insufficient and embrace the fact that it’s evolved from thousands of years of evolution and there’s nothing that can be done to completely avoid it.

While we have introduced various concepts on how to cope with it and add it as an element of your training, this is more an article to deal with our invulnerability as martial artists. (and therefore, as people). The belief, both in the community and, in some cases, in some in their own minds, that we are invulnerable or untouchable still abounds in modern society. People poke, take shots or test, trying to prove that we are human when all they need to do with the grounded of us…is ask! Do we get hit? Yes. Can we dodge or avoid all strikes? No. Do we prepare to sometimes “win ugly” in a way different than Hollywood will have you believe? Absolutely. Are we always prepared for every potential scenario possible to be faced? No, I’m afraid it’s damn-near impossible..although we try and, therefore, cover as many bases as we can. Do we feel fear like the rest of humanity? See paragraph one for reference point.

Image result for fear images

We train for flaw. We train for perceived physiological drawbacks of the human involuntary system. We train to limit damage. This is the reality of reality. Many martial arts instructors won’t train with their students, barking orders from the sidelines and continuously putting themselves in situations that adheres to the strengths of their abilities to give themselves an air of invincibility in front of their students. (a form of hypnotism) They preach mysticism and quote truths from 500 years ago (which, by the way, are often not relevant to modern day laws, attackers, terrains or garb)

Instead of showing students my “perfection” and immediately making them feel they could never achieve a level that’s unattainable, I find it both humbling and honest to show them (usually involuntarily) flaw at times. I train with my students. I test myself alongside my students. I show them the techniques against resistance. It, counterintuitively to what many believe, does not show them my weakness but instead gives them a confidence that to err is human and that, if I am not perfect maybe they don’t have to be either. Achievability. It gives them strength. And, more often than not, they respect me more for the fact that, more times than not, I can pull these things off with resistance yet achieve it without perfection. And, more importantly, that because of its relatively simplicity it could be accomplished by them as well.

Image result for fear images

Many times new students are so hard on themselves when they make mistakes, don’t do the drill or “sequence” as fluently as their instructor or get cut/hit/kicked. Real dynamic scenarios with interactive resistance allow the student (yes, of course going slower with limited resistance in the beginning for learning is appropriate and required!) to feel a greater confidence and understanding of how things are supposed to work and greater belief in their own ability. I once had a student who was a brown belt in another style and we were doing a grappling drill with resistance. It was his first time doing anything with resistance, even though he had been training for years. He admitted to me, honestly and self-deprecatingly, that he was a little concerned and nervous. I assuaged his fears and told him he would do fine. (And I knew this to be true) After the drill was complete, he approached me with a look on his face of sheer enjoyment and self-accomplishment. Though I’m paraphrasing, his response was something along the lines of “fantastic, exhilarating, never done that before!” Remember, every breakthrough shatters self-imposed myths and barriers of fear, breaks new ground. We did breathing exercises, scenario-training, close-quarter tactics (a range beginner students often innately have great fear of) His tools were in the toolbox but he just hadn’t taken them out for a testdrive yet to pressure-test them. (As a sidenote, this student-who had taken only 5 or so classes at this point-was attacked by a patient at the mental hospital where he worked and disarmed the staff-wielding chap-an accomplishment I am still to this day very proud of him for)

I feel fear as well. I have been in situations in which I have been afraid. (both in the self-defence world and in my day-to-day and in which I have both thrived and let fear get the best of me, remember-to err is human and we are most certainly not machines. Even the Terminator himself has come on hard humbling human times lately) Initially, I was distraught after these occurrances but, upon further thought, I realized that although I was determined that it would never happen again that way, that at times we are vulnerable and adrenaline is a protective mechanism the body uses to temporarily make us more impervious to pain, stronger, faster. We learn to accept it, embrace the attributes it provides us and limit it’s negative impact (freezing, inability to act, tunnel vision, trembling, decision-making, etc.) using tools to bring our heartbeat down, calm our nerves and clear our mind. The internal resistance was provided by the myth that it should’ve worked out like it did in the club.

My firm belief is, those that don’t have stories to tell you of their own personal fear (or at least confirming their existence if too proud to admit openly) are not telling the truth. And I have never trusted people without flaws or weaknesses. The forever smiling and surface-euphoric. Everyone has them (flaws). Whether or not they choose to admit it is a flaw unto itself…pride. I prefer to be honest, open and able to relate to my students. Not try and uphold shrouded mysticisms of generations-old chains of unreachable perfection. It IS possible to be grounded, approachable and questioned while still maintaining the ethics and standards of a conceptual system. (And, remember, that’s all any system really is once stripped away to its bare bones) Honesty cultivates self-expression. The ability to develop self-expression creates trust. Trust breeds unlimited potential for learning, which often opens the door to a greater willingness to overcome fears. Didn’t that get wrapped up nicely.

©copyright, all rights reserved 2011 Mandirigma FMA Academy

218 thoughts on “THE NORMALCY OF FEAR”

  110. Hey there, You’ve done an incredible job. I’ll definitely digg it and individually recommend to my friends. I’m sure they will be benefited from this website.

  115. Right now it appears like Expression Engine is the best blogging platform out there right now. (from what I’ve read) Is that what you are using on your blog?

  117. Simply wish to say your article is as amazing. The clearness in your post is just cool and i can assume you are an expert on this subject. Well with your permission let me to grab your RSS feed to keep updated with forthcoming post. Thanks a million and please keep up the rewarding work.

  118. I have been exploring for a bit for any high quality articles or blog posts on this kind of house . Exploring in Yahoo I eventually stumbled upon this website. Reading this info So i am satisfied to express that I have an incredibly just right uncanny feeling I came upon exactly what I needed. I most undoubtedly will make certain to don?t forget this website and give it a glance regularly.

  119. The other day, while I was at work, my cousin stole my apple ipad and tested to see if it can survive a twenty five foot drop, just so she can be a youtube sensation. My iPad is now broken and she has 83 views. I know this is totally off topic but I had to share it with someone!

  121. Aw, this was an extremely nice post. Taking a few minutes and actual effort to produce a really good article… but what can I say… I hesitate a whole lot and never manage to get nearly anything done.

  123. Hey I know this is off topic but I was wondering if you knew of any widgets I could add to my blog that automatically tweet my newest twitter updates. I’ve been looking for a plug-in like this for quite some time and was hoping maybe you would have some experience with something like this. Please let me know if you run into anything. I truly enjoy reading your blog and I look forward to your new updates.

  125. Aw, this was a really nice post. Taking a few minutes and actual effort to make a very good article… but what can I say… I put things off a lot and don’t manage to get anything done.

  126. Wow that was strange. I just wrote an really long comment but after I clicked submit my comment didn’t appear. Grrrr… well I’m not writing all that over again. Anyhow, just wanted to say great blog!

  127. Wow that was unusual. I just wrote an very long comment but after I clicked submit my comment didn’t show up. Grrrr… well I’m not writing all that over again. Regardless, just wanted to say fantastic blog!

  128. Can I just say what a comfort to find somebody that really knows what they are talking about online. You actually know how to bring an issue to light and make it important. More and more people really need to look at this and understand this side of your story. I can’t believe you aren’t more popular given that you certainly have the gift.

  131. Wow that was unusual. I just wrote an incredibly long comment but after I clicked submit my comment didn’t show up. Grrrr… well I’m not writing all that over again. Anyway, just wanted to say superb blog!

  132. Can I simply just say what a relief to discover somebody that truly understands what they are talking about on the internet. You certainly understand how to bring an issue to light and make it important. A lot more people have to check this out and understand this side of the story. I was surprised that you aren’t more popular because you definitely possess the gift.

  134. Can I simply say what a comfort to find a person that really understands what they’re talking about on the net. You definitely know how to bring an issue to light and make it important. More and more people have to look at this and understand this side of the story. I was surprised that you’re not more popular because you surely possess the gift.

  136. Hey I know this is off topic but I was wondering if you knew of any widgets I could add to my blog that automatically tweet my newest twitter updates. I’ve been looking for a plug-in like this for quite some time and was hoping maybe you would have some experience with something like this. Please let me know if you run into anything. I truly enjoy reading your blog and I look forward to your new updates.

  137. Aw, this was an extremely nice post. Finding the time and actual effort to generate a great article… but what can I say… I put things off a whole lot and never manage to get anything done.

  139. Aw, this was an exceptionally good post. Finding the time and actual effort to generate a superb article… but what can I say… I put things off a lot and don’t seem to get nearly anything done.

  140. Hey I know this is off topic but I was wondering if you knew of any widgets I could add to my blog that automatically tweet my newest twitter updates. I’ve been looking for a plug-in like this for quite some time and was hoping maybe you would have some experience with something like this. Please let me know if you run into anything. I truly enjoy reading your blog and I look forward to your new updates.

  141. Hey there, You have done a fantastic job. I will certainly digg it and personally suggest to my friends. I am confident they will be benefited from this web site.

  143. Aw, this was a very nice post. Spending some time and actual effort to create a superb article… but what can I say… I procrastinate a lot and don’t manage to get nearly anything done.

  144. Hey I know this is off topic but I was wondering if you knew of any widgets I could add to my blog that automatically tweet my newest twitter updates. I’ve been looking for a plug-in like this for quite some time and was hoping maybe you would have some experience with something like this. Please let me know if you run into anything. I truly enjoy reading your blog and I look forward to your new updates.

  147. Hi there, You have performed a great job. I will certainly digg it and in my view suggest to my friends. I’m confident they will be benefited from this web site.

  148. Hi there, You have performed a great job. I will certainly digg it and personally suggest to my friends. I am sure they will be benefited from this web site.

  149. Right now it sounds like Movable Type is the preferred blogging platform out there right now. (from what I’ve read) Is that what you are using on your blog?

  150. Wow that was unusual. I just wrote an very long comment but after I clicked submit my comment didn’t show up. Grrrr… well I’m not writing all that over again. Anyway, just wanted to say fantastic blog!

  151. Wow that was unusual. I just wrote an extremely long comment but after I clicked submit my comment didn’t appear. Grrrr… well I’m not writing all that over again. Anyway, just wanted to say excellent blog!

  152. Wow that was odd. I just wrote an incredibly long comment but after I clicked submit my comment didn’t show up. Grrrr… well I’m not writing all that over again. Anyhow, just wanted to say wonderful blog!

  153. Hey I know this is off topic but I was wondering if you knew of any widgets I could add to my blog that automatically tweet my newest twitter updates. I’ve been looking for a plug-in like this for quite some time and was hoping maybe you would have some experience with something like this. Please let me know if you run into anything. I truly enjoy reading your blog and I look forward to your new updates.

  154. Right now it sounds like Drupal is the best blogging platform out there right now. (from what I’ve read) Is that what you are using on your blog?

  155. May I simply just say what a comfort to find somebody who truly understands what they’re discussing over the internet. You actually know how to bring a problem to light and make it important. More and more people must read this and understand this side of the story. I was surprised you are not more popular given that you most certainly have the gift.

  156. Wow that was unusual. I just wrote an very long comment but after I clicked submit my comment didn’t show up. Grrrr… well I’m not writing all that over again. Anyway, just wanted to say wonderful blog!

  159. Right now it sounds like Movable Type is the best blogging platform available right now. (from what I’ve read) Is that what you are using on your blog?

  163. Wow that was strange. I just wrote an extremely long comment but after I clicked submit my comment didn’t show up. Grrrr… well I’m not writing all that over again. Anyhow, just wanted to say excellent blog!

  164. Hey I know this is off topic but I was wondering if you knew of any widgets I could add to my blog that automatically tweet my newest twitter updates. I’ve been looking for a plug-in like this for quite some time and was hoping maybe you would have some experience with something like this. Please let me know if you run into anything. I truly enjoy reading your blog and I look forward to your new updates.

  165. Wow that was strange. I just wrote an really long comment but after I clicked submit my comment didn’t show up. Grrrr… well I’m not writing all that over again. Regardless, just wanted to say great blog!

  166. Right now it appears like BlogEngine is the preferred blogging platform available right now. (from what I’ve read) Is that what you’re using on your blog?

  167. Aw, this was an exceptionally good post. Finding the time and actual effort to make a top notch article… but what can I say… I hesitate a lot and don’t manage to get anything done.

  168. Wow that was strange. I just wrote an really long comment but after I clicked submit my comment didn’t appear. Grrrr… well I’m not writing all that over again. Anyway, just wanted to say excellent blog!

  169. Aw, this was a really nice post. Finding the time and actual effort to make a top notch article… but what can I say… I hesitate a whole lot and don’t seem to get anything done.

  170. Hey there, You’ve done a fantastic job. I’ll definitely digg it and in my opinion suggest to my friends. I’m confident they’ll be benefited from this web site.

  171. Aw, this was a really good post. Taking a few minutes and actual effort to create a good article… but what can I say… I hesitate a lot and don’t manage to get nearly anything done.

  173. Hey there, You have performed a great job. I will definitely digg it and for my part recommend to my friends. I am sure they will be benefited from this website.

  175. Aw, this was an incredibly nice post. Finding the time and actual effort to create a superb article… but what can I say… I procrastinate a whole lot and never seem to get anything done.

  176. At this time it seems like WordPress is the best blogging platform out there right now. (from what I’ve read) Is that what you are using on your blog?

  178. Excellent post. I was checking constantly this blog and I’m impressed! Extremely useful information particularly the last part 🙂 I care for such info much. I was seeking this particular information for a long time. Thank you and good luck.

  180. Aw, this was an exceptionally good post. Taking the time and actual effort to make a very good article… but what can I say… I put things off a lot and don’t seem to get nearly anything done.

  182. Hey I know this is off topic but I was wondering if you knew of any widgets I could add to my blog that automatically tweet my newest twitter updates. I’ve been looking for a plug-in like this for quite some time and was hoping maybe you would have some experience with something like this. Please let me know if you run into anything. I truly enjoy reading your blog and I look forward to your new updates.

  184. Aw, this was a really good post. Taking the time and actual effort to generate a very good article… but what can I say… I hesitate a lot and don’t manage to get anything done.

  185. Currently it looks like Drupal is the preferred blogging platform available right now. (from what I’ve read) Is that what you are using on your blog?

  187. Aw, this was a really nice post. Spending some time and actual effort to create a very good article… but what can I say… I hesitate a whole lot and never manage to get anything done.

  188. Can I simply just say what a relief to discover somebody that actually understands what they are talking about over the internet. You certainly realize how to bring a problem to light and make it important. More people should read this and understand this side of the story. I was surprised that you aren’t more popular because you most certainly possess the gift.

  189. Right now it appears like Movable Type is the top blogging platform out there right now. (from what I’ve read) Is that what you’re using on your blog?

  190. Aw, this was an incredibly nice post. Taking a few minutes and actual effort to generate a good article… but what can I say… I put things off a lot and don’t seem to get anything done.

  191. Wow that was unusual. I just wrote an really long comment but after I clicked submit my comment didn’t appear. Grrrr… well I’m not writing all that over again. Anyways, just wanted to say fantastic blog!

  192. Hi there, You have done a fantastic job. I will certainly digg it and for my part recommend to my friends. I’m sure they will be benefited from this website.

  193. Aw, this was a very nice post. Taking a few minutes and actual effort to make a great article… but what can I say… I hesitate a whole lot and don’t seem to get nearly anything done.

  194. At this time it appears like BlogEngine is the best blogging platform available right now. (from what I’ve read) Is that what you’re using on your blog?

  195. Nice post. I was checking continuously this blog and I am impressed! Extremely helpful info specifically the last part 🙂 I care for such information much. I was seeking this particular info for a very long time. Thank you and best of luck.

  196. At this time it appears like Movable Type is the preferred blogging platform out there right now. (from what I’ve read) Is that what you’re using on your blog?

  197. I do not even know the way I stopped up right here, however I assumed this submit used to be good. I don’t realize who you’re however certainly you’re going to a well-known blogger if you happen to are not already. Cheers!

  202. Aw, this was a really nice post. Taking the time and actual effort to make a good article… but what can I say… I procrastinate a whole lot and never manage to get nearly anything done.

  203. Hello there, You have done an incredible job. I will certainly digg it and for my part suggest to my friends. I’m confident they will be benefited from this website.

  204. Aw, this was a really nice post. Finding the time and actual effort to make a very good article… but what can I say… I hesitate a lot and never manage to get anything done.

  205. Hi there, You have done an excellent job. I will definitely digg it and personally suggest to my friends. I’m sure they’ll be benefited from this site.

  206. Woah! I’m really digging the template/theme of this website. It’s simple, yet effective. A lot of times it’s challenging to get that “perfect balance” between usability and appearance. I must say you’ve done a great job with this. Additionally, the blog loads super fast for me on Chrome. Superb Blog!

  207. Right now it seems like Expression Engine is the preferred blogging platform out there right now. (from what I’ve read) Is that what you are using on your blog?

  208. Aw, this was a very good post. Taking a few minutes and actual effort to produce a superb article… but what can I say… I procrastinate a whole lot and don’t manage to get nearly anything done.

  210. At this time it looks like WordPress is the preferred blogging platform available right now. (from what I’ve read) Is that what you’re using on your blog?

  213. Wow that was strange. I just wrote an very long comment but after I clicked submit my comment didn’t appear. Grrrr… well I’m not writing all that over again. Anyhow, just wanted to say great blog!

  214. At this time it appears like Drupal is the best blogging platform available right now. (from what I’ve read) Is that what you’re using on your blog?

  215. Wow that was unusual. I just wrote an extremely long comment but after I clicked submit my comment didn’t appear. Grrrr… well I’m not writing all that over again. Regardless, just wanted to say superb blog!

  216. Hey there, You’ve done an incredible job. I’ll definitely digg it and personally suggest to my friends. I am sure they’ll be benefited from this web site.

  217. Wow that was strange. I just wrote an really long comment but after I clicked submit my comment didn’t show up. Grrrr… well I’m not writing all that over again. Regardless, just wanted to say superb blog!

  218. Hey there, You have performed an incredible job. I will definitely digg it and for my part suggest to my friends. I’m sure they will be benefited from this web site.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *