All posts by Darren

LINGUISTIC SYMBOLISM

“They’re just words.” Words and their symbolic meaning can have a profound effect on the receiver, one that may not at all be intended by the messenger. We all have our own individual life experience and frames of reference and those uniquely individual experiences can change the way we take in meaning, unique from others. Words like ‘defense’, ‘defend’ or ‘self-defense’, ‘counter’, ‘reaction’  and ‘block’ when turned into ‘greater aggression’ or ‘overwhelming response’, ‘pre-emption’, ‘action’/’counter-action’ and ‘destruction’ can change the entire context of how one may need to utilize violence as a counter-violence measure. Simple changes in vernacular like women’s self-defense to women’s empowerment, self-defense to counter-violence, tactical response to tactical solution can drastically alter perception and therefore the mentality of how it’s absorbed and put into play.

People are innately and unconsciously affected and influenced by the term one gives them. Think of it as neurological conditioning. If, for instance, they believe it’s a strategy, they will act accordingly, that it’s neutral and effective as strategies are perceived as something with contextual positivity, an element that helps their cause. The term submission has an entirely different psychic definition to the vast majority. For example, utilizing ‘submissive postures’ in the interview phase of conflict may and can be a great tool to either de-escalate or to deliver a pre-emptive attack, context-dependent, but the issue isn’t with the concept itself, but in the terminology. Submission may indeed be a form of negotiation but it is widely perceived as a negative by the vast majority in the public. If your goal is to teach someone to utilize it as a tool for mutual benefit or for persuasion purposes, your approach may be entirely correct but if it’s subliminally absorbed as something relating to weakness, loss of advantage or cowardice, it may have the exact opposite impact on them when utilizing or attempting to utilize it. It may also transfer to other areas outside of the given circumstance like a domino effect.

The point isn’t that it’s a conflict with the methodology (whatever that may be), only the importance of the title you give it as it absolutely changes the mindset and implementation of the skillset to the receiver. Inevitably, it’s not the message but the delivery of said message. The meaning is very often in the receiver’s interpretation of it, not the sender’s desired intent and that, my friend, means everything as they are the one putting the skill into play and, in our industry, it could be a high price to pay.

Take the word ‘fuck’, for instance. Adding it to “What do you want?” can turn the meaning into a far more powerful one for the purpose of creating space, both psychological and physical. How the person on the receiving end understands the intent of the question is irrevocably change and may even create a momentary shock as to the audacity. A means to an end. (and preferably not when Mom shows up at your door with a pie and 2 cups of coffee) Swearing can be a useful tool to provide an exclamation mark on intended meaning. The reverse can be true regarding the name of your brand new shiny tactical folder, dubbed by the maker the “Headscalper 3000.” If ever actually needing to use this tool in an actual self-defense scenario (although I realize many simply do this a hobby or pastime and rarely even think of the consequences during their training of what it is they actually do) I’m sure your plea of self-protection may fall on somewhat more deaf ears with judge, jury and LE when explaining why your pet is titled so aggressively. (“Killer” the pitbull, anyone?) This goes towards all logos, school names and techniques as well. They represent you and your intent, your mission statement, if you will. Graphic, aggressive and macho terms, for instance…what you call them may put you in legal hot water later on. Mantras can have the opposite effect in the form of empowerment if utilized correctly and with achievable aims. I see discussions end in hostility, threats and challenges to agreed-upon “violence” on Facebook almost daily now as one word’s meaning can change the entire context of digital graphology. Factor in different cultures, machismo and pride and you have a powderkeg. (Facebook is not a self-defense scenario, by the way, but don’t tell anyone)

Next time you’re unwinding and watching TV or surfing the net, pay attention to commercials and ads. Notice the subliminal words, phrases and images they utilize to manipulate (another word that CAN be beneficial to move someone toward a positive mutual outcome but that has staunchly negative connotation) you into buying their product or service. Political and social propaganda is driven by this same methodology. For Americans, this is the perfect time for you to be aware of this: political rhetoric, subtle media manipulation, negative campaign ads, partial journalistic storytelling without context…they toy with your perception to push you towards another thought process. It is truly everywhere and it has a profound impact on how we think, what we do, our reactions to stimuli and, in this case, our ability to manage conflict or deal with violence once/if that avenue has past. Words have heavy neurological impact based on experience, emotion, trauma, euphoria, societal dictates and a host of other triggers. It truly pays to be cautious in the words you use.

A LITTLE ON UNCONSCIOUS SURVIVAL SIGNALS & BODY LANGUAGE: PAST AND PRESENT

This excerpt is taken from a body language program I had developed some time ago. As with all body language, it is circumstantial, contextual and person-specific. For any of you interested in a purely knowledge-based context, or for those whose lives may depend on profiling, reading or understanding other people’s aggression, I hope this helps in some way.

So much of our body language is through our original protection system developed evolutionarily. Adrenaline dump, fear, flight/fight/fright or freeze, protecting organs and vitals, mobility/respiration/vision flinch response that transfers to regular daily body language, so much of our history is from survival signals/instincts from thousands of years of highly-evolved development

Usually tells are derived from one of the three evolutionary fear responses:

FRIGHT/FREEZE (a neglected and sometimes utterly ignored element of the three, lip service is often only paid to the “fight or flight” axiom-temporary motion stop, visual/auditory/kinesthetic acuity (guilt, analysis of proper response/internal dialogue, emotion, surprise, shock), minimal bodily movement, momentary silence, making ourselves smaller, guilt responses, responses when placed back toward an open door/moving people/open window (increased respiration, heart rate, blood pressure and brainwave frequencies: Caveman reference with communal fire, tent, back to wall for protection from internal or external attack)

FLIGHT-shift feet toward exit, turn away from someone you don’t like, avoid conversations that threaten you, blocking behavior (closing the eyes, rubbing the eyes, placing hands in front of face, leaning away, placing objects on lap (purse) or in front of you, overall “distancing” (barriers, spatial creation, angling, body blading)

*exhibit caution as naturally visual people also lean back, create distance and have greater spatial “bubbles”

FIGHT-argument, insults, ad hominem phrases, counter-allegations, denigration of professional stature, defensiveness, goading, sarcasm; posture, eyes, puffing out chest, spatial violations, aggressive non-physical contact (ritual signs of violence, pacing, emphatic gestures, voice changes in tone), monotone response with minimal bodily gestures/motionless (James Bond/Jason Bourne examples)

Remember, to make a proper analysis non-verbal signs should be taken in clusters as one alone (although there are exceptions to the rule) is usually not sufficient to make a proper assessment of what’s happening internally with a person. Often this is a major mistake by those uncertain or a little too ambitious with their assessment. Since reading is done on the fly and some tells happen in a micro-second to assume is truly to make an ass out of –u and –me. Err on side of caution and if you can’t read properly and more evidence is needed, continue to develop rapport, be patient, keep them talking and ask specific leading questions. The type of question will obviously be different in regular conversation than it would be, for instance, during an interrogation. Connect certain reactions with parts of the conversation and topics that draw them out and ask connecting questions on the fly to determine a cause-effect.

Four intangibles for analysis:

  1. Different gestures mean different things (thus the multiple potential possibilities of so many individual gestures) in different contexts. The same tell can mean something totally different in a social setting vs. business meeting vs. home environment.
  2. This is why it’s so important to get multiples congruent signals to make a proper analysis. Very seldom does one gesture give enough of an explanation to make a firm deduction on its own.
  3. CULTURAL DIFFERENCES. What’s positive in one culture may be entirely offensive in another so factor this in and be aware of specific gestures to culture in question.
  4. Whether the gestures match each other and correlate for an overall picture or not. If differing or opposite signs come up ALWAYS believe the negative one as it’s far more telling and authentic. People can fake happy but don’t put a lot of practice into faking negative emotion, they come far more naturally
  5. Once again an evolutionary tool that’s been honed through centuries. The vaunted “feminine intuition” is prevalent in men as well but, being more logic-based and dismissive with metaphysical areas we tend to neglect development of this trait. Remember, one thing I always abide by: “if something feels wrong, it probably is.” Go with your gut, factor in your instinct along with your knowledge and “deciphering” capability. (Gavin de Becker’s “The Gift of Fear” as reference point for this)

Using the acronym, I call this “I4C or “I foresee” to remember the 1 I (intuition) and four C’s in the equation (clusters, culture, context and congruence)

One thing I always do if I’m somewhat uncertain about a certain nonverbal signal is to do it myself (tactfully of course so as not to mimic, an often clearly-perceived insult) and see how I feel or, more accurately, how it makes me feel.

It’s a proven fact that people tend to reveal far more clear and clustered body signals when comfortable than when stressed or tense. When we’re able to be relaxed and at ease we reveal much more than when we aren’t so the bad cop interview no longer holds water. The more at ease a person is and the more rapport we have with them the more important and imperative non-verbals can be detected. Rapport is also a strategy for just this reason. In this regard it is much easier to establish needed baseline behaviors, which cuts down the possibility of making critical errors in assessment. When a person is tense or threatened they tend to give off anxious, tense, nervous body language which can easily be mistaken for lying, aggression or anti-social.

CONTRADICTIONS

From our evolution and violent past, we often show remnants of body language that had direct purpose to survival but, as evolution always does, times have moved on and different survival systems have developed. These are, debatedly, somewhat scenario-specific:

  • Ventral showing: showing lack of fear by showing organs and sending message of other being non-threatening to person showing. Often in modern violence this show of perceived arrogance and show of vulnerable parts of the body have proven dangerous against an underhanded modern criminal (especially one with a knife) Option? Blading the body. One can still show confidence and status with an open body posture slightly angled in discussion/confrontation
  • Crotch display: showing confidence, machismo and competition to other men and sexual interest in a woman; one needs to be careful in a confrontation when opening legs too far apart and not paying attention to potential genital-related outcomes (including voice permanently etched with a higher pitch) Option? Once again, slight blading/angling of the body can still get the message across without being blindly confident and displaying a message of arrogance
  • Neck show: to show vulnerability and submission, potential attraction from the opposite sex, see number one (contains lots of vital areas vulnerable to attack as well: Vagus nerve, carotid arteries, jugular veins, suprasternal notch as well as the superior and middle thyroid veins, sternocleidomastoid muscle) Option? Slight angling of the head away to keep the vitals partially shielded while still showing polite deference and interest
  • Roots of the eyes: by looking down while maintaining eye contact is often perceived as submissive or negative in nature (though it can be perceived as judgmental as well), this is a very powerful confrontational tool that creates distance and sends a psychic message to one on the receiving end
  • Walking pace: in the modern business world, a brisk pace indicates the desire to get things done, being on a mission and being energetic. When in public and constantly under scrutiny by other testosterone-filled men measuring, a slower but purposeful gait is a powerful show of calm and control (slowER methodical walk though the validity of having a strong gait and purposeful pace cannot be over-emphasized)
  • Thumbs up: in the times of Roman gladiators, the crowd signified sparing or ending the life of the loser by either the thumbs-up or thumbs-down gestures
  • Crossed arms: body protection, in times past it was an intentional sheltering of the body’s vitals including the lungs and heart
  • Open palms: to show others that there were no hidden weapons being carried, a show of trust
  • Nostril flaring: allows more air in with which to oxygenate the body in preparation for either fight or flight when threatened
  • Hand shaking: originated from arm wrestling
  • Territoriality: leaning on our possessions (or neutral possessions) to show ownership and protectiveness: cars, houses, chairs, etc.
  • Hand gestures: karate chops, finger stabs & fist punches all signify reinforcement of message, the final word or emphasis of an important point, although as “communication is how the message is received, not given” these are all received relatively poorly by the one on the other end as they show dominance, aggression and argumentativeness

FROM THE ANIMALS

  • Smiling: originally used by primates as a show of either fear or subordination to a more powerful member of the group; in modern it is similar in that it shows a non-threatening and accepting attitude towards the receiver (in carnivores it’s actually a threat)
  • Chin jut: also from primates, showing aggressive intent for a forward and direct attack
  • Baring teeth and flaring of nostrils: again, comes from the act of attacking
  • Sneering: used as a signal to warn other animals of impending attack or defense if necessary
  • Freezing/stillness: when a predator is in the animal’s area, somewhat of a “don’t pick me” signal

We have many similar signs from the animal kingdom that, when put in proper context and researched, have maintained their validity in the urban jungle to this day. We have a more than passing (and less than coincidental) interest in animal movement, attack strategies and predatory methods and this, in an opinion, is far more valuable than looking back in history at our own past and methods/tactics. Theirs have stood the test of time without change.

One element of learning I try is when one of the family dogs is present, I go through various human body language signs and facial expressions to gauge response and even our friendly K-9s often react in predictable ways towards clear negative and positive projections.

Though not body language, per se, other examples of our survival instinct past and evolution that has manifested itself in modern-day scenarios:

  1. Sitting with your back to the door/open window creates increased blood pressure, heart rate, respiration and brainwave frequencies back from the Caveman days with the communal fire, multiple people eating in the tent after a kill, sitting with their backs to the wall for protection from both internal and external attack
  2. King Arthur’s round table: designed to create neutrality in meetings but not realizing that his own high-status created a pecking order of importance from those seated next to him (higher power) to those further away (lower power) to those seated diametrically-opposed (competitive)
  3. The term “right-hand man” coming from the fact that the one sitting directly to the leader’s right was the least threat due to the fact it was difficult to stab effectively with your left hand, considering in those days left-handed had a negative stigma attached to them and the staunch majority were right-handed
  4. The handshake. Originated from a grasping of the mid-to-lower arm to ensure there were no hidden weapons that could be pulled at a future point in the interaction
  5. 2nd arm during a handshake. Seemingly-kind, at times can be a hidden attempt to control through touch, establish dominance in a subtle and potentially hidden way
  6. Sitting across from each other at a table. Originally coined the “gunslinger” position due to the fact that squaring off the torso of the body was a sign of competitiveness. (although context-dependent in the modern-day)
  7. After eating, stomach takes blood away from the brain to help digestion (similar to fight-or-flight adrenaline response) and causing the person to not think as clearly. Bad for business decisions, good for romance, extremely good to take advantage of a vulnerable opponent with shady dealings
  8. Frontal display, showing confidence by exhibiting glibly one’s organs to show that they don’t find you threatening in any way, has come back to haunt some as they’ve transferred business tactics into the street world, where violence is a threat and this display is highly-unprotected

***Contagious actions that can give psychological openings pre-conflict: yawning, nervousness, confusion.

FACEBOOK IS NOT A SELF-DEFENSE SCENARIO

I find myself somewhat in awe (though not surprised in the least given the human kneejerk reaction to be heard) when I see the perpetual volatile arguments on social media. Over trite issues. To push through your opinion. To prove someone else wrong who doesn’t agree with your philosophy or point-of-view. To correct someone who’s clueless. I don’t support it, but I get it…and there’s a difference.

Running two Facebook pages myself pertaining to the industry, one of which is fairly active with response and retort, I see this all too frequently. However, to all combatives, martial arts, security, military, law enforcement exponents out there, social media is just that, media. There’s no immediate threat, no risk of injury, no danger. And herein lies the rub. It’s safe. So it’s very easy to post something controversial, explosive, antagonizing and provocative without having any repercussions and being held to the fire, so to speak. It’s a modern safe space. On the other hand, it’s also potentially judgmental for those posting. Everything we post is subject to scrutiny by others, many of which we don’t know, may never meet or, hell, aren’t real. Your content is up for public criticism. So it’s a double-edged sword.

That being said, my goal is not to promote myself, my methodology and my academy, although I’m also perceptive enough to know that this is inevitably a byproduct, good or bad, or what I post. (as what I post is often what I teach or support) So, I post content that attempts to be thought-provoking, informative and valuable to the average person listening in. And not nearly all of the group responds. However, knowing that the content will not (nor simply cannot) appeal or connect with everyone, it may reach that one person who needs it and can be helped by it. Not my peers, but those who legitimately need the knowledge for whatever reason, be it the military operative going to battle or the meek mild high-school student who gets bullied daily and has no voice. Those that can relate, want to talk shop and brainstorm with me, I’m always open. The ones that often disagree? It’s their wont and they’re completely at liberty to do so without condemnation. It is, after all, only Facebook.

COMFORT IN TRAINING

I find these days that far too many people treat martial arts like a comfort-driven, athletic hobby. Now I know the stereotypical hyberbole I’ll get for this: “different people practice for different reasons” (true), “some train just as a social activity” (also true), “some just want to stay in shape” (true again) and “many just want the traditional aspect, to learn about a culture” (true, true, true). However, this being said, I find so many want the comforts of home. Not to challenge themselves. Not to have to face themselves in the mirror and deal with their demons-not an easy task, to be sure. To not get tweaks, bruises, pulls, strains. To have a nice big beautiful dojo covered in expensive mats and the latest technology.

Now maybe I’m just jealous (I’m not but I digress) but I have a very old-school bothoan (club in Tagalog)-basic, hard floors, thin mats, paint cracking, no A/C with none of the comforts of your living room. My training tools are basic yet difficult, explosive and creative as I use what I have and what’s at my disposal. Combat (and, therefore, combat training) is not a comfort zone. It’s gritty, dirty, grimy, ugly and chaotic. I choose to train this way and have my students train this way. Hot, uncomfortable, unpredictable, grueling and sometimes downright intimidating. Safe? Yes, no question. I don’t want my tribe to go out on the street (where they really need these skills) injured or decimated due to the training. But I do want them to be hardened…battle-hardened, prepared mentally-physically-spiritually-emotionally-psychologically-on all levels for the realities of the worst-case scenario of what they may encounter from the modern criminal. I can assure you the modern criminal is not in an air-conditioned lodge with top-of-the-line mats, $2000 equipment and a hot shiny floor, getting ready to attack you. And, if it’s good enough in the old-school Filipino way of training, it’s good enough for us now. It’s an experience.

My top students have told me they never know what they’re going to get when they walk in the door. Which is how it should be. No preparation given, no alerts sent out, no time for emotional psyche-up. And when they complete the task, they’re euphoric, because they’ve overcome an obstacle thoroughly by using their adaptive, think-outside-the-box, honest-to-goodness gut instinct survival skills. Real pragmatic functional skill is built. At times through discomfort, anxiety and stress. Like a river over time wearing away rocks, their skills become ingrained, instinctive, natural, explosive and without thought. It’s a teaching methodology I realize not all are proponents of but inevitably the proof is in the pudding. What you put in, you get out. No forms, no pre-arranged sequences, no static response to static attacks. A problem-solving approach. Ironically (or perhaps not) the training is much like the bothoan. It’s there to serve a very specific purpose. Chosen for this very reason.

In conclusion, I guess my point is that for all the fancy equipment, state-of-the-art training tools, expensive new gym, top-of-the-line weights and machines-at the end of the day it’s the training methodology (concept-based) that makes the difference, not all the rest. Many will agree but few will practice what they preach.

 

copyright 2016, Mandirigma Filipino Martial Arts Academy & Civilian Preservation Technologies