I have come to the honest realization that I’m not a great instructor. Seriously and with no attempt at sarcasm. There are those with more patience, care, kindness…those that were meant to be teachers. To impart knowledge. Regurgitate data and information. Cultivate learning through highly-evolved teaching methodologies. I, unfortunately, simply do not fall into that category….at least in-person, and not with the content I teach. I’m not a “gifted” instructor.

The saying “there are those who teach, and those who do” is curious in that, like all other catchphrases, context is often left wanting and binding (leaving you seemingly with only 2 choices from which to choose) is the norm. There are those rare people who can do both equally well in their field. There are also those who specialize at one or the other and kudos to them both….this article isn’t a critique in any way. It’s a personal self-assessment. I’ve always been more of a doer.

It was a perception-error that I felt I needed to understand. After recently having come to the above conclusion about myself, I started wondering why, upon which it became crystal clear. I’ve spent the last 25 years not learning systems, but learning how to fight. How to protect myself and my family. How to function. Be pragmatic. To take what’s of value from those systems for me, my body type, my mindset, my movement, my vision, my subjective (as combat-function is staunchly that…subjective) view of function. Selfish and focused. When I started teaching I wasn’t familiar with the idea of a syllabus, an organized curriculum, a formulated progression of material. Admittedly….and at times frustratingly. I was familiar with fight-function from the physical perspective. Granted, over the years, with the page and this very blog, I’ve covered a ton on emotional, psychological, social, anthropological, mental, and legal aspects but I’m referring to what I teach face-to-face from a physical-only standpoint.

At first this realization sincerely disappointed me as I had legitimately thought I was of equal parts from both categories. Not true, I discovered. What I am able to impart is functional skill-sets on a wheel that overlap and intertwine with others. Fundamentals. Base tools. And a very clear ability to see the natural movements and micro-details of how people move individually. Instinctively. Innately. I’ve started considering myself more a fight coach than a martial-arts instructor. Not that I’m some big weekend fighter or guy who’s been in 500 fights. Not a violence-junky by any stretch. Quite the contrary. But someone who, regarding armed martial systems, dueling, resistance, pressure, dynamic-environments, adaptation….can chip away clay. Sort-of a reverse osmosis. Whether it’s grappling, clinching, dueling, sparring, broken-rhythm, dynamic movement….I get the moving parts and how they interact with each other. And people learn from me by watching me, seeing me apply it against a resisting opponent, seeing me demonstrate it in real-time. I’m not (and never ever have been) a big (or particularly good) demo-guy. I’m really not good at looking beautiful or flashy. And none of my long(er)-term students look or move like me. They move to their strengths – which are staunchly different from mine, as is nature.

I am also not a good knowledge-regurgitator. I’m not good at cookie-cutter solutions to dynamic problems. Nor at creating a copycat-machine. Systems have worked for me, but they’ve generally been my servant, not the other way around. I’m not a dogmatic-adherent to them, I believe they’ve been put here to help us understand things. A tool to aid, and then be discarded when one understands those things. Or at least to deconstruct and reassemble as needed when adaptation, diversity, or evolution are in need of changing.

I’ve always admired those with airtight teaching-methodologies, solid student-factories, patient and caring learning cultivators….mentors. The real-life “Miyagis”. Truly and no sarcasm. I am, however, not one, as much as I may wish that weren’t so. That my shtick isn’t to perpetuate and continue the genealogical system-tree. But I will show you how the systems that I happen to be good at, and, without any intended arrogance, I am very good at some….work. And I’ve also discovered that that’s okay too. It’s important to know what you’re good at so as to best help people….and to admit what you’re not. I’m knowing more about “my lane” every year I do this.